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Monday, March 20th, 2006
2:22 am - It never ends
oblivion disappeared
a world thrust
whirling about
words and eyes
laughing and watching
shot in the stomach
and again
and again
rest to think
sleep to live
endless blindness
or darkness
and unforgiving restlessness
empty building
to silent conversation
worry from apathy
fading away
and left in the cold
bring back oblivion
destroy sleep
end silence

never live again

current mood: indifferent

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Friday, February 10th, 2006
1:40 pm
sweat and blood
one, real, the other, fake
and anything else i might feel worthy
of a beautiful project
meant to disturb any guests
who decide to stay the night

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Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
1:04 pm
I tried to give a piece of my past
so some of the things I do would make sense
now I feel sick
and I'm done letting them understand
they don't care anyway

current mood: disappointed

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Thursday, January 19th, 2006
1:57 pm
everything's going to change soon
four monthes

dancing will be had if i have to give up food for a week just to have it
starting next month

buy my candles
they're unscented tealights
last up to 8 hours, usually 7
low flame
great for oil burners

In other news, next week I'm aiming for spooky look, which mean I'll be listenning to a lot of Danzig, 69 eyes, NIN, Marilyn Manson, Tool, Sanke River Conspiracy, etc. adn will be using a lot of red, black, blue, and dark purple paints.
Somebody help me put up poly in my art room so i can go crazy with spraypaint.
PLEASE! *begs*
I've been feeling like my angsty depressed self lately, oddly enough the thought of that makes me happy. Manic Depressive? Me? nah... though it really helps in the creative department.
It's weird, I can't really create anything cool unless I'm out of my mind and crying for no reason randomly, but if I'm happy I can't make anything at all, now here's where the weirdness comes in: not creating things makes me sad, so then, after a long time, I can finally make something. Now, when I'm creating, I'm happy, which, after a few hours, I can't finish what I started because I lost the morbid idea I had started with.
Back when I lived with my parents I could avoid anything that would keep me overly content, so I'd get back to my unfinished idea within a day or so, but now, I have Adam, who makes me happy most of the time, so I don't get my idea back for a couple monthes or so.
I mean, it's great that he makes me happy, but man do I miss being an emotional freak who could make awesome paintings/drawing/sculptures through blurry eyes in a black light.
So next week is when the natural light of outside will be banned forever from my artroom and the heater almost constantly on.

Geez, I didn't think I was going to write that much.

Somebody take me dancing, I have no money for gas, food, or entry.
but without the man, because far about half a year now I've been getting self-concious around him, hehehe I feel like a little girl with a crush

I'm lame.
I'm trying to fix that.
I WILL be interesting again.
I WILL be more sociable and a better friend.
I WILL leave the house for reasons other than groceries, school, and family.

current mood: weird

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Thursday, October 28th, 2004
1:05 pm
6 down, 466 to goCollapse )

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Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
5:26 pm
Boring TransformationCollapse )

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Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
2:17 pm
DollCollapse )

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Sunday, October 24th, 2004
3:20 pm
Take my quiz, dammit!!

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Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
12:31 pm

You in 10 Years
Clothing Style
Your career Fashion designer
Your income $41,532,640.31
Number of kids 10
Will you end up divorced? (8) - Don't count on it. - (8)
Your neighbors think you're crazy TRUE
How Great Your Life Is - 88%
This cool quiz by faded_days - Taken 7709 Times.
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology

current mood: crazy

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Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
1:05 pm - *cries*
It's sad when you realize how much you enjoy your job just as it's being eliminated.
I bitch and complain about it all the time, but really, I love it.
Almost 2 years working here and it's going out of business.
I swear I'm going to cry when I see this place empty and repainted for someone else.
No more loud music, no more arcade noise bombarding my ears, no more spending 10 hours doing slight cleaning and sitting on my butt.
It's soo depressing.
And now I have less than a month to find a full time job.
Doing this when I don't have gas in my car might be a problem, I don't think I'm fit enough to bike everywhere.

AUG 4-28, 2004

current mood: productive

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Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
4:38 pm
Alright, so bored I can't tell the difference between my dreams and what's happening around me. Homework tomorrow, art and Diablo 2 tonight, shopping the cave and the underground Friday, some Hip Hop type deal thing going on at the warehouse on Saturday (?Joel invited me?), more homework on Sunday, school afterwards for the week. Maybe sometime during my busy schedule I'll hang out with Brandie, Lee, Tegan, Sarah, other Sarah, Jaimie and Leesa, maybe even Steven.

current mood: blah

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Friday, February 8th, 2002
4:22 pm

current mood: accomplished

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Thursday, February 7th, 2002
8:04 pm
okay, i went to the doctor, i'm not getting better, matt had a heart-attack, i'm trying to find a ride up to P.A. but i don't know if i can, i really want to visit him, to see for sure that he's okay, now there's this amber girl who seems not to understand what i was trying to say but ah well, i told jarvis that if she starts yelling at me i'm going to hitch to edmonton or if she says anything really mean to me before then i'm just going to pay jarvis 67$ and stay home, no sense wasting his money even if he says it's a gift

current mood: cold

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Thursday, January 17th, 2002
6:43 pm
i'm sic, i can't breathe, and remember my thing about missing school and it's badness? yeah, i've missed a day and a half, i'm all shaky and my lungs hurt, maybe i should go to a doctor, doctor isn't very bright, my cat could give a better diagnosis than him, ah well, i can't comcentrate on anything for more than a few mins and i'm already losing interest in writting this entry, i signed up for the 30 hour famine again this year, maybe i'll actually raise more than 20$ probably not with the cheap bastards that live around here, got one of my papers back from nat. st. guess what the teacher wrote on it "for godsakes use paragraphs" because, though i use good punctuation and everything, i pretty much write exactly the same as i do in here, uhghh.. pain, sleep now

current mood: sick

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Wednesday, October 17th, 2001
2:15 am
okay it's october now?? i sure missed a lot of time i could have wasted hey i cleaned my room and turns out i have a lot less things i like than i have things i hate so i threw a bunch od stuff out and i'm slightly drunk right now because i went to jarvis' and he fed me norm's stuff and wine and yeeaah then we screwed around and watched tv

current mood: drunk

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Friday, July 13th, 2001
2:37 pm

current mood: crushed

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2:36 pm

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Tuesday, July 10th, 2001
8:27 am

current mood: awake

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Wednesday, June 27th, 2001
1:58 am
Mmmm... freezie....

current mood: cold

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Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
12:10 pm
I think I'm going to try and sleep.. no I'm not, I'm going to try and draw.

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